Sunday, October 30, 2005

Existence by TRPs

Fatwas by the moguls of TV channels

The recent programs which are being telecast on television at times (most times) are repulsive. One cannot but wonder whether the media is acting irresponsibly. Sensationalism, the relentless lust for ‘eyeballs’ reminds one of the rat-race where some potential offenders and some innocents are being hung without a fair trial. ‘Judgement by the media’ is the worst thing to happen.

To illustrate my point I would like to recount one incident which appeared on one “gossip-mongering” 24 hour news channel.

A 40 year old separated woman was having an alleged affair with her neighbor. She earned her living by selling vegetables in the city markets. Her 20 yr old son didn’t take kindly to the fact. It resulted in the murder of the neighbor at the hands of the woman’s son.

The judgment of the channel: The son was forced into murdering the neighbor because of the situation created by his mother and the alleged paramour.

The victim: The son. A young life now forced behind bars because his mother had the alleged audacity to seek succour, support (or whatever else) in the arms of her neighbor.

The culprit: The woman who was responsible for the murder by choosing to live life her own way, a legal way but not conforming to mores of cheap morality dished out by our society and its self-appointed conscience keepers.

The Idiot: The neighbor… now dead and condemned. He would have had an affair with a younger woman .. why the hell did he choose an older woman with a son his age?

The Judge: The TV news show anchor, who wears a beard, has a funny accent, has an exaggerated body language.

Suffice it to say that this cheap news mongering is more responsible for propagating ideas whose time has long been served They do not realize the damage they are doing … perhaps they do -- but hey, it is programs like these which ring in the ad revenues and keep them ahead in the race for the #1 slot.

I am all for freedom of speech and honest reporting, but biased and skewed new reporting is doing irreparable damage, the impact of which would be seen a few years from now.

To give the news media their due credit, their actions in exposing corrupt politicians, bureaucrats etc. is commendable.

I just have this to say to the news-wallahs: “You don’t need to stoop to levels unbecoming of you to keep your channel going. Be true to yourself and the society – your responsibility to the society is much higher than that to the ad revenues that you are chasing”

P.S: I have not talked about the “saas-bahu” sagas going on endlessly on TV channels … They are living in the stone age; propagating ideas which are regressive … (Aside: If Ekta Kapoor had her way, she’d probably spell regressive as “Kkregressivvee”)

Friday, October 21, 2005

Yak No.1, Sikkim Cabbies,
“No Horry;No Worry” :)

Account of one of my favourite professors’ journey through Gangtok. Dr. S.M sir, cheers to you … Keep travelling … and yeah! Keep writing

The flight to Bagodgra is full. I have been told by a friend to look out for Everest on the left side, just before the descent to Bagdogra. But the distant hills are merging with the clouds and hence, in a Rorschach test of sorts, my wife and I try and discern the peaks! The drive from Bagdogra to Gangtok is nice, climbing along the fast flowing Teesta River from 400 ft to 5800 ft in about 4 hours. The young Sikkimese driving the Tata Sumo seems to be still a high school student. But then, as I found out, looks are deceptive. All the cab drivers in Sikkim look as if they have just finished school!


The next day, we hire a taxi for “10-point local sightseeing”. The first stop is the famous Rumtek monastery. As soon as we reach there, we get a preview of things to come- there are more than 100 taxis already parked there! And barring a couple, all of them are carrying Bengali tourists! The Bengalis, as everyone knows, are the people with the most wanderlust- they are everywhere! And the hawkers seem to have understood this. Every single tourist spot in
Sikkim has a “jhaal-moori waala” sitting outside catering to the insatiable hunger that the Bengalis have for their favourite snack.


The monastery is heavily guarded by the Army and ITBP- presumably to stop Karmapa Lama to come here from Dharamsala. The novice lamas are playing around the main courtyard, much like children in a school during the lunch break. . The only incongruous thing about the place is the presence of several young women, fashionably dressed in jeans. These women seem to be living there, though that seems hard to believe.

The “10-point local sightseeing” is a sham since there is not that much to see in Gangtok. The next day we go to Tsango lake- a beautiful lake enroute the famous Nathula pass. The lake is crystal clear and as expected, teeming with Bengalis- this time appropriately clad in their monkey caps and jackets! The high point of the trip, apart from the sheer beauty of the place was the yaks! Huge, hirsute creatures with colourful “sweaters” on their horns, in one case advertising, a la Govinda, “Yak No. 1”! Dutifully, everyone takes a picture sitting atop the yaks, though some adventurous tourists take a yak ride around the lake.


We can’t go to Nathula and Baba Mandir because it will soon be dark and then it is difficult to drive on these roads. Coming back, we come across an artillery regiment having firing practise with field guns. It is Dusshera today and the wives of the officers are having a “field” day firing the huge guns which make an unbelievable noise, especially at 13000 feet! The shells go and hit the distant mountains and one hears the “boom” about 10 seconds after the initial retort. This kind of field practise is of course, par for the course for the jawans there. Sitting at 13000 feet in biting cold, with a minimum of amenities (though, there is a UTI bank ATM at the army unit nearby!), one can’t grudge them their amusements.


Nathula pass is the place where the Indian and the Chinese army are literally in eyeball contact. Baba Mandir, I am told by an army jawan from Rewari, is the place honouring Baba, a devout Sikh jawan. He was coming back from patrolling duty with his company when he got buried in a landslide. His companions could not find him but a few days later, the subedar had a dream in which Baba enjoined him to go to the exact place where he was buried and construct a memorial for him.


The thing which strikes one is that Gangtok is actually very orderly considering the number of tourists. Everywhere there are signs of how many taxis can park, for how long and so on. Even in front of the roadside tyre repair shop, there is a sign which says "only 2 cars tyre repair at a time- By order, Sikkim Police"!!! And it seems that the people actually respect these signs, unlike say, Mussorrie or Shimla!!


The trip to the “Cottage Emporium” which is really the sales outlet of the State Handicraft Board is along expected lines. The shelves are empty, the sales staff not interested in selling you anything, the stuff that is available is overpriced and of shoddy quality. We buy the usual “tankhas” and wood carvings which come packed in newspapers.


Interestingly, the two things banned in
Sikkim are pan masala (gutka) and polythene bags!! This makes the place much cleaner, though sadly, the proliferation of Kurkure and Uncle Chips packets spoils the scene to some extent. But still, it is a relief not to see hillsides littered with blue coloured polythene bags or to find “Shikhar Gutka” packets along ever inch of the road.

What is not banned is liquor- there must be more liquor shops in Sikkim per capita (total population 4 lakhs!) than anywhere in the world! They are everywhere- from the main market of Gangtok to a remote hamlet of maybe 100 people. The interesting thing is their timings- 7 am to 8 pm! Why anyone would want to buy alcohol at 7 am is not clear to me, but then I actually saw someone picking up a bottle of Honey Bee brandy at 7 in the morning while returning from my morning walk!


The signage on the trucks is unusual too- they do not have "Horn Please OK Tata" on their rear. Rather, in an interesting nativization, they have "AWAAZ DO"! The Border Road Organisation (BRO) which maintains the National Highway 31A from Siliguri to Gangtok and beyond, has of course loads of signs along the road- most of them are enjoining the reckless driver to be slow and enjoy the scenic beauty (“This is not rally, enjoy the valley”(sic)). Some are outright Stalinist- "Roads are National Property- Respect Them" and the interesting "From Kanchenjunga to
Kanyakumari- India is one", this one replacing the traditional "From Kashmir to Kanyakumari....." -maybe because of local sentiments (Kanchenjunga is respected here as a goddess) or to be avoid painting the signs again a few years later! But the most interesting sign was on the way to Yumthang, Sikkim’s “Mini Switzerland”, about 8 hours from Gangtok. Here, the BRO, respecting Bengali sentiments, tells you, “No Horry, No Worry”!

===============================================================

P.S: The professor in question never taught me ... but I have learnt a lot from him..... :)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Template of a congratulatory note

XYZ wrote:

Dear Sun Solaris Server,

Just to tell u I got engaged last week at Tuticorin. It was a rush trip to India and am back in Dubai since yesterday. I was there for about 10 days. I am sorry i could not get in touch since I was tied up with meeting "Pure" (girl in question!) and then engagement ke formalities. Pure has finished her MBA and is working with her family biz. I had been chatting with her for about a month and half and then i said lets come down and see if we can take things forward.

Anyway, just thought should let you know on this development. So, how are things with you. Mail in. any good news on your side or u busy racking big sales incentives flooding ABC & DEF sectors with Sun servers!

regards,

XYZ

--
XYZ
Post Box 8549
Dubai - UAE
Email: zxy@gmail.com OR xyz28@yahoo.com

Smart Alec wrote:

Dear Post Box 8549,

Thank you very much for the honorable thought of "just thought should let you know on this development". I really appreciate that. It is quirky that a bastard like you should get a girl called "Pure" (girl in question). I havent met a dirtier individual in my entire life and I mean it as a compliment. The only way I can reconcile to this shocking news is by thinking that even God has a "sense of humour" ... must be his private little joke :)

So chatting does some good to some people ... good to know that .. and thank you very much for letting me in on the details of "how it happened" ... coz now you are talking to the about-to-be-greatest-chat-enthusiast-of-all-time

Good to know that you are inheriting Pure's family business as well. Good way to get rich especially considering the fact that you have no encashable skills :)

Congratulations and all the very best. I am very happy for you.

Best Regards'
Sun Solaris Server

P.S: XYZ is a hyper enthusiastic individual who was with me in ISB, Class of 2004. He was rumored to have had the largest porn collection on Campus: reason why he was very popular with the guys. BTW, he was also rumored to be gay: reason why he was very popular with the gals. Overall, he was a very popular guy.

Smart Alec is yours truly – the nastiest individual alive … the scum of the earth