Comrade, thou indulgeth in hypocrisy
Hypocrisy and Tyranny mark the agenda of ‘communism’

I may be accused of having shallow knowledge of the idea of ‘communism’ and thus not fit or intellectually capable of commenting on this topic.

But communism, albeit the Indian variety is preserve of a bunch of ‘armchair intellectuals’ from either Kerala or West Bengal (I know Karat doesn’t belong to either; so do a few others) who are both hypocritical and tyrannical. They lie through their teeth; are a nuisance any progressive agenda; always thinking about ‘national interest’ – China’s.

They claim to be a party who speaks for the disposed, the downtrodden, the underprivileged – the farmers, the workers, the labourers etc. But they have always been a tyrannical lot – Mussolini, Mao, Stalin – the Indian communist comrades however are a step ahead. They have found innovative ways to operate within the constraints of a ‘democracy’ (an idea I am sure they detest because for ‘communists’ the world over THE PARTY comes first. Oh! And itz only THE PARTY which is supposed to exist).

So while shooting down or creating all kinds of hurdles and obstacles at the very least for every proposal towards disinvestment, creating opportunities out of moribund, loss-making, sick government held units in other parts of the country, they go ahead unabashedly privatizing ‘communist’-ruled states.

Which means that while other states are left to labour with their sick govt. held units, West Bengal and Kerala can move ahead on their agenda of economic revival. A very base unit of any economic activity is ‘entrepreneurial spirit’ and a market-enviroment. One should be willing to take risks by investing capital/resources and meet the needs of market thus making a profit out of one’s efforts.

West Bengal intends to provide all of this to the investors who want to invest mega-bucks in the state. This despite the fact that ‘Union’, ‘Strike’ and ‘Kolkata’ are synonymous in this country. The West Bengal government is willing to extend its proverbial arm and leg to secure FDI. One of the conditions from the investors that is that it needs land for its projects. So the WB govt. goes all out to procure the same from the poor farmers. No harm in that as long as there is a viable rehabilitation program and the farmers are provided alternative sources of sustenance and the procurement is voluntary. The ‘situation’ arises when the farmers refuse to part with their land.

Itz pretty normal till now. If this was the case in any other non-‘communist’ ruled state, the farmers would’ve been offered a lot more money, there would’ve been committees appointed to oversee rehabilitation etc. The communists would’ve been first in line and with the largest megaphones screaming @ the top of their voices for the rights of the farmers to their land. They would’ve done everything in the book and a few outside of it to make sure that project never took off. But what if the project faces similar hurdles in West Bengal. Ah! Now how can the populace defy THE PARTY. So if there is one village which opposed (Well, there was Singur and now there is Nandigram) the government’s moves, THE PARTY would move it’s cadres into the affected area, cut off access to journalists and other observers and along with the police go on a murdering spree. These are the CPI (M) death squads I am talking about – goons on the payroll of some influential CPI (M) functionary. They kill hapless farmers, women and children – those who dared oppose the diktat of THE PARTY.

The poor farmers should’ve just stood by while the government grabbed their land, paid them peanuts for it, while it didn’t bother to impart some skill which would’ve enabled them to eke out a living. After all a few farmer suicides in this country doesn’t even merit a ‘breaking news’ item on our television channels or newsprint.

Comrade, Thou art Hypocritical.

P.S: Scores of poor villagers lost their lives in Nandigram, West Bengal when police and CPI (M) opened fire. Most of the deaths have occurred as a result of injuries from sharp weapons and bullets NOT fired by the police. The area was barricaded and out of bounds for the newsmedia. Most of the casualties were those of women and children.

The ‘Glamourous’ Hawkers
UP mein dum hai kyunki jurm yahaan kam hai

This is a cricket crazy nation and the keyword here is not cricket, itz crazy. Add movies to it and this is a nation of sleepwalkers who are out to believe every inconceivable shit that comes their way. The more outrageous the dream, the more believable. The advertisers, the smart guys who get ‘icons’ (aside: smirk) like Amitabh Bacchan to sell you your bottle of “Banphool Tel” (my dumb countrymen, do you believe that Amitabh in his wildest, most adventurous dream would ever venture near anything close to banphool tel) or get Sachin Tendulkar to peddle ‘SunFeast – har ghar mein Sachin’ biscuits for that matter. The list is long, gory and a conjob par excellence.

Just like with our politicians, we have allowed our celebrities to run amok with their bag of goodies; we have let them fool us with false promises; we have allowed them to show us false dreams, to squat on our consciousness. It doesn’t matter that the bigger the celebrity endorsing the brand, the fatter his paycheck and hence more is the amount of money that the company has to ‘extract’ (wondering: is ‘extort’ a good synonym here) from it’s ‘esteemed customers’ and thatz YOU.

Our obsession with ‘Page 3’ is grotesque. Yours truly is now aware of names like Miniissha Lamba (spelling of the name altered to defy all conventions on the ‘advice’ of some joker like ‘Sanjay Jumaani’ or ‘Sunita Menon’ – the former a ‘numerologist’, the latter, a tarot card reader’) – her contribution to society – a few page 3 parties and willingness to drop her dress for the camera. And then there’s the obnoxious ‘Amrita Arora’ – her claim to fame – a few bombed movies and her ‘boyfriend’ who apparently is a cricketer (I haven’t seen him in any team though. Apparently, he plays in England. But so do Aungwardanda Gimbo and Joe Bloggs. I don’t have anything against the bloke but hey he is featured in ‘page 3’ alongside Amrita). Oh! as for the classical debate on why does one read those sections in the papers and watch those spots on TV? – I don’t; itz just everywhere: in the morning papers, on all channels on TV (I have to admit that I am now tired of watching Jean Claude Van Damme movies, and the big cats of Africa and hence surf channels a bit and it is here that these 'goody peddlers' jump @ me)

Since we are ‘good’ Indians, we even have ‘caste & class’ for celebrities which makes Katrina Kaif the higher class, Malaika Arora Khan (middle class but with upper class aspirations…. ASIDE: That explains her hatred of textiles) and Rakhi Sawant the lower middle class. O! Jejus .. there I said it.

So after much confusion and lack of coherence in this piece which is predominantly because of the onset of hunger, I’d just say to whoever is bored enough to read this piece completely: Do not fall for these dumbasses (aka celebrities), they are nothing more than ‘glamourous’ (I have my doubts there as well) hawkers.

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P.S: The Indian Cricket Team is an average team. In fact it is not even a team. It is a bunch of individuals, some of whom have ‘performed’ in favourable conditions. We weren’t a team. We had no chance of winning the World Cup. ‘Team BCCI’ should be ashamed, it should just realize that they aren’t quite cut out for it. And so should YOU.

And all the tarot readers / numerologists were WRONG – They had predicted an India-Australia final with many of them rooting for Irfan Pathan. Pathan didn’t play a single match. India was booted out in the first round itself.

So stop being superstitious as well!!!

I AM NOT EVEN COMMENTING ON AMITABH’s SAMAJWADI PARTY AD.

UP MEIN DUM HAI KYUNKI JURM YAHAAN KAM HAI – Does he himself believe in the BULLSHIT that he is uttering?