‘Candlegiri’ and the ‘Great Indian Middle Class’
Vengeance of the wannabes and also-rans of society

The great Indian middle class, one of the most hypocritical and racist communities on this planet. Why do I say this? Well, a couple of recent incidents. First, the case of Jessica Lall – a small-time model who was shot on having denied a drink to the son of an influential (quite obviously ‘rich’ ….. thatz Indian politics for you… all of them are rich…. A bunch of incompetent, corrupt, scheming, insecure, rich people) person. Now I too rejoiced when the ‘miscarriage of justice’ (yeah! The accused was initially let off amidst witnesses turning ‘hostile’ by being ‘bought off’, ‘bumped off’ or ‘threatened to push daisies’) was redressed (the court hauled the police, the lower courts etc.) and delivered a landmark decision. Manu Sharma (the accused) was to be punished for his crimes after all.

I don’t have any issues with this but look at the background – Jessica was slightly glamorous in her appearance and hence initially the interest was lukewarm from the middle classes (those who watch English news channels and then the vernacular ones to get the full import of the news… those for whom every news is ‘breaking news’ being reported ‘live and exclusive’ by breathless (mostly telegenic) ‘reporters’) – till the visual media started beaming pictures of her ‘very ordinary looking’ sister, her parents (haggard, pretty ordinary looking folks … folks who look and would have been tired of carrying the burden of injustice) – the collective realization of the middle classes was kick-started – these people are one of ‘Us’ … and how dare a person (incidentally each member of the middle class tries to break into the ‘upper class’, ‘the privileged lot’ … what many government housing boards euphemistically call the HIG, i.e. the ‘high income group’)… and thus was started the concerted campaign of bringing the culprit to justice … or shall we say retribution/ revenge.

We were then bombarded with pleas to redress the ‘miscarriage of justice’ by lighting candles at the ‘india gate’ in delhi for instance. The breathless TV ‘reporters’ were joined by ‘RJs’ (radio jockeys) who typically would score lesser in IQ tests and are generally more breathless on the FM radio stations. There were signature campaigns (e-mail campaigns for the more technologically inclined). There were also a few ‘sms’ contests (Should manu sharma be hanged? Type “Manu Y” for Yes; “Manu N” for No and send it to 6644. The first 300 would qualify for a 3-day vacation to Malaysia and would also get front row seats in the courtroom when the verdict is delivered).

Why am I raving and ranting against the middle classes? I am one of them, right? One of them …

One who struggles day in and day out to break into the next upper category….
One who looks wistfully at business class seats while flying economy in a cattle carrier…
One who looks down upon people who make much less money and are not ‘privileged enough’ …
One who if fair by color of skin would look down upon people with a darker skin… the evidence is the surging sales of fairness creams (for more evidence look at matrimonial ads… wanted bride: fair/gori, blah blah .. or boy, fair/5’ 7”, 5-fig salary)…
One who doesn’t acknowledge all those unfortunate people who happen to have been born into poverty and a life of misery ….
One who dreams of social equity but wont want the dalits or the poor, the umkempt to be in the same vicinity as us (they have no class!!)
One who discriminates … (check her English out … her accent is funny) …
One chest-beating nationalist who probably hasn’t ever stood up when the national anthem was sung .. unless someone was looking …
One who is too keen to dispense justice .. to engage in ‘prohibition’/ ‘censure’ of any kind…
One who wants cheap labour – maids, drivers, errand boys etc. but who’ll rave n rant about the slums in the cities (no slums, no cheap labour my friends) …


I am ashamed of the ‘great Indian middle class’.
Where were/are they:

- When a dalit woman and her daughter were raped & murdered by half the upper-class menfolk of a village in maharashtra?
- When women were raped in moving cars in the nation’s capital?
- When crime is committed openly in full public eye?
- When middle class people in middle class cars try and bully ‘bikers’ (bikes cost less) and pedestrians on the streets?
- When there is so much misery around (and they sit tight in front of their 21” flat screen color TVs watching ‘english’ channels)

Maybe busy watching their ‘english’ channels, participating in some ‘sms contests’, buying ‘fairness’ creams or maybe lighting candles for some ‘cause’.

Or probably watching ‘news’ of Shilpa Shetty fashioning herself as india’s ambassador at ‘Big Brother’ (sic)…

AFTERTHOUGHTS:
I dont think there would have been any candlelight vigils if Jessica was an ugly, fat woman ... after all.. how would the designer middle-classes bring themselves to hold a candle to a fat, ugly woman and how could they identify with her ... with Jessica they were fine ... she could represent the ‘middle classes’ just fine …
Here was a fine specimen who the middle-classes could claim as their own ... just like they have been claiming citizens of all nationalities but of ‘Indian origin’ (their forefathers probably went there as conscripts, slaves, cheap labour or fortune hunters) as their own (Kalpana Chawla, Sunita Willaims, Mahendra Choudhary – in case you didn’t know .. the ex-Prime Minister of Fiji who was deposed in a coup – to name a few).