Dilbert's Rules of order

The corporate survival kit

-- I dont have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem

-- I love deadlines. I especially like the way the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

-- Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If she isn't there the first time, chances are you wont need her again.

-- Don't be irreplacable. If you cant be replaced, you cant be promoted.

-- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

-- Accept that some days you are the pigeon.... and some days you are the statue.

-- Age doesnt always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

-- Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

-- If it wasnt for the last minute, nothing would get done.

-- When you dont know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

-- I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day; Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

-- When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane