My Good Friend E!

Outpouring of an “Emotional Garbage Bin”

This is a personal piece. I don’t generally put up personal stories on a public site but then “where there’s a rule, there’s an exception”. A personal incident and a few of my ‘outlandish’ theories to follow.

This story is about a mad girl … and I really mean ‘mad’… both in a good and bad way !!!! Letz call her E. It so happens that I’ve known E for some years now. And I have to admit that this has been a great learning experience and E has been a great teacher. She has taught me a lot about womanhood and the irrationality of their thought processes. Well, there I have made a provocative, sweeping generalist statement. All those “feminist-types” would now be hot under the collar and baying for my blood. To them, I say, just relax; I made the statement about women being “irrational” from a man’s point of view which you discredit anyways, so relax. :)

Now that’s what I call logic ….

OK, now back to E. In all time that I have known her, E has gone through 2 heartbreaks and I have spent enormous amounts of time, effort and money listening to her sob-stories (do I sound harsh???? … well! you should know the no. of hours clocked listening to those depressing run-of-events … that late @ night …. that many times .. and you know what I am talking about).

So, here’s E struggling to get over one heartbreak coz the dude she was seeing flipped @ the last moment and went his own way. Fair enough, men are bastards (I see the feminists nodding vigorously and I am not at all surprised that they’ve read till this point….. EXPRESSION: Smug). So I had to endure those late nights providing a shoulder to depression-stricken E and hear out her ‘arbit, morbid’ theories in the middle of the night. E wants the 'ditcher' (yeah! The dude who has ditched her) to suffer the worst fate …. And that too not in hell …. She wants him to suffer "Right Here, Right Now" …. She cannot stand the guy being happy … She wants him hauled over the coals/ fed to hungry lions/ shackled in a 'harem of homosexual men'/ hung by the b***s;

One fine day she scans the papers and lo! and behold! finds our man on ‘page 3’ flashing his "wrigley's white" smile at the camera with his eye-candy of a wife [thatz what E claims … I have never seen her ... but I sure as hell dont want to coz that would give me a severe complex ;-) ... coz the guy ... umm! seriously I just dont think he deserves any better] hanging on his shirt sleeves. There goes a round of fuming, raving, ranting -- “ I want that bastard castrated”, “There is no justice in this world”, “I wonder if there is any god at all”, “ I don’t know who to trust”. Thus follow numerous blah-de-blah sessions … and there goes another night’s sleep. Now if one has to catch an early morning flight” … or has to give up “reading my book” time it can be really irritating … especially if it happens to be the 50th such occasion ....

But I managed to surprise myself … because I hung on for 3 years … and I used to think I didn’t have much patience with people ... awry/wierd ones especially…. I feel I have outdone myself … :) [OK! that was a cheapshot ... but it was solely for dramatic effect]

Along the way I have been accused of “trying to make others feel that you are superior to them…. You really put them down to an extent that they feel they are full of shit” …. Yeah! … and other crimes like “you are too full of yourself” … well partly correct …. I am not too full of myself … well! I am to some extent .. and I don’t think it’s a bad thing … itz like capitalism, you know … it has been amply demonstrated that it is the only workable solution … capitalism I mean; socialism having become defunct and moribund … itz like our hatred of “stinking rich” people while desperately wanting to get rich at the same time ….. basically it is our imperfections staring us in the face and making us miserable …. So I am OK being full of myself … as long as I don’t harm others by my machinations … ;-)

E’s idea of ‘having a life’ is “DJing”; Fine!!! Music is an acronym of “life” for many people .. and so it is for me as well … E’s hobby is “music”, E’s idea of a good time is ‘partying’ … I haven’t heard anything else in all these years like reading ..oh! shucks … I did hear that a couple of times … but that was more on the lines “Oh! So you are reading this book hahn! … even I got a book today” …. So one would guess that music would take care of all E’s problems … like a hobby, activity or a passion is supposed to … but no! even music failed …. [ASIDE: There I go boasting about my reading habits ... She was right -- I am too full of myself .... But hell! it could be philately, painting, counting stars, pottery ... any 'real' hobby .. which gets some creative juices flowing ... pun completely unintended]

Sometimes I get the feeling that E is a very ‘lost child’, probably wants to believe that she’s a perfectly humble, innocent girl who is completely misunderstood; she just cant fathom why people “stab me in the back” … when she claims that “I have done so much for them” …. Yeah! .. if you call people, use their time, unload your emotional burden on them, expect them to listen to your litany of woes and AGREE! .. I guess your idea of “I have done so much for them” is slightly warped. [ASIDE: There goes the "too full of himself" bastard]

After a couple of years or providing my shoulder for E’s ‘tears’ at her convenience …. Another dude walks into her life … perfectly normal, humble person … of the foreign-returned kinds …. (I don’t know about the accent bit ... I mean whether he "had it" or not ... ASIDE: pun completely unintended yet again)…. And the inevitable heartbreak followed … and E promptly sought out my shoulder and patient listening skill (as patient as I can be .. but with E I was … I don’t know why … maybe pity … maybe sympathy … maybe empathy … maybe momentum … ) Another year of my being “Emotional Garbage Bin” ensued … but then one fine evening, with the same thing happening yet again, something snapped inside me…. I have my own problems in life … and E’s style of repeating the whole damn incidents (of how she went to the party where she saw B … and how her erstwhile friend Y told something nasty about her to her friend X’s wife M … who is good pals with P … phew!) … with each incident being narrated again and again and again, I became nauseous and had to give it straight to E. I told her “you should seek professional help to get over your problems” …. And that was it … E told me “you are the most selfish bastard I've ever known … who only thinks about himself … who wants to make other people feel like shit because they aren’t as strong as you are” …. [ASIDE: I agree that was way too harsh ... but then once you provide a shoulder to lean on .. and you begin to feel the whole weight of the burden, to the extent where you are like a tissue/napkin to be used to get someone's nose blown into ... it gets kinda frustrating ...]

So E! wish you all the best with your “music” !!! And apologies to have put this up on my site … but unlike you I don’t have an “Emotional Garbage Bin” @ my disposal…..

P.S: E! There are multiple ways to deal with one’s frustration, depression and all other negative emotions … This is mine .. and it is mighty helpful … it works … so! Please find one that works for you …. And yeah! No offence meant.